Oh yes, it’s that non standard time again bloglings, because I don’t blog and post at a set time, I do it whenever. Because AUTHOR!

And yes indeedy you read that right, today I’m talking about pooping, pants, and plots. How do they all go together you might be wondering, oh ho ho, do I have a tale for you. Well not really a tale, but, you know, this is a blargh, so I’ve got some knowledge to lay on ya.

You see, thoughts and plots aren’t always thunk in order and clear to see. So what do you do when you can’t see ahead? You write anyways! It’s like shoveling a load of crap onto a garden, you’ve got to do it to make it grow. You’re going to have scenes that aren’t all rip roarin’ roller coaster ridin’ action. And you know what? That’s okay. Sshhh, sshhh, there there little writer. It’s okay. Slow parts don’t just happen, they’re necessary, they happen in life too. We all need breathers, so do our novels and characters. We need time for them to slow down and process, recount events, share some info with each other and us, the writers and or readers.

But, (speaking of which, yours is particularly fine this moment you feisty fine thing you. Here’s lookin’ at you kid. Ahem, sorry, back to blarghing) it’s going to feel slow and poopey. That’s fine, I guarantee you that if you write on the slow days, the days it all feels, writes and reads like crap, it will still be better than not doing it all. Here’s a wordsmithing secret, after you finish your novel and let it sit for a few months before editing, I swear you won’t be able to tell what you wrote on the bad days, and or on the good ones. It’ll all be one giant story, you won’t be able to pick apart the crappy days from the good. And you’ll have a finished work to boot. Nifty huh.

But that means dealing with muck and yuck. The gunk and crap, the poop! You have to shovel the slow scenes and write them. You have to move on! You have to write it. Especially especially and thrice be it said, especially if you’re a pantser. If you don’t have an outline, slow scenes are going to come up, filler happens, just make sure it’s important or entertaining filer. Yes all novels have it. I swear they do no matter how profusely its creator swears it doesn’t. Filler happens, so what? Make it good! Make it fun. You have fun with it and I promise it’ll be fun to read. And if you try, you can twist and work filler into your story so it doesn’t read like filler. And that’s where poop and pants come together. See what I mean? Together they can help further your plot. You need to learn to roll with the punches and shovel crap when it comes time to.

Strap on your crap wadin’ boots folks, we’re gonna dig deep today! Because even plotters have to pants and poop at times. Oh yes, because even the best laid of plans can go to crap when that first word flys. Plotters have to pants and adapt too, they’ve got to shovel the same poo and the pantsers do. So, at the end of the day. You’ve got to shovel the crap. So what? It is in crap that plants and stuff and inspiring quotes stuff grows. You can do it….. um wrong time?

My point is, that it’s part of writing, don’t whine or hate it, embrace it, but don’t deal with it, enjoy it, make it a challenge and something twist. If you’ve got to shovel crap, and you do, make it pay you back, it’s like a garden, you pile the crud, but you get the fruits and veggies. Or bacon… whatever you grow in your garden.

Poop and pantsing come together to advance plots whether you want them to or not. But you’ve got to be willing to shovel the poop and write by the seat of your pants at time. It’s okay. It’s okay. I promise you. There’s this magical thing called editing, which we will save for another time, where the crap cannot be seen, it’s sunk deep down to bring you veggies and foods you just need to clean, and wash up and prepare into a wonderful dish. I know right? Crap to food, don’t think about it. Or pants…

My point is, that it will work out. Just shovel crap when you have to, adapt and pants when you have to and you will plot it out. When the time comes, you can fix it all, and then send it to beta readers and editors to really polish up. But remember, crap gets absorbed, its food for your novel, shovel it, shovel the poop, pants and plot! You can do it.

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